Religious Bullshit

GOVERNOR SCHWARZENEGGER: FREE KEITH HENSON

Keith Henson needs your help.  The former computer consultant--now in jail for calling bullshit on the cult of Scientology--is asking Arnold Schwarzenegger for a pardon.

Henson's story has been well-documented in various Internet postings, and The Cult (as we shall hereafter refer to the "Church" of Scientology) has conducted a massive smear campaign to destroy this mild-mannered man's reputation.  A campaign that has succeeded in landing him in jail.

(Read more about Henson's plight here and here.)

This man is not a child molestor.  Nor is he a terrorist.  Nor is he even an anti-religion extremist--as, say, I could be charaterized.  (Scientology--a cult if there ever fucking was one--would have to be a legitimate religion for that to be true.)

He's just a grandfather who called bullshit on the crackpot Xenu followers.  Please, e-mail Governor Ah-nold and demand Henson be freed.

Scientology: The Pussy Cult

Scientology has been in the news a lot of late.  Today The Times reports that a change in the British definition of religion opens the way for this "religion" to register as a charity and claim a massive tax break.

Also today, the son of Count Claus Schenk von Steffenberg said Tom Cruise should "keep his hands off my father." The count was referring to the casting of the Faggot/Pedophile-Movie-Star-Scientolgist-Spokesperson as Claus' father in a movie about the senior Steffenberg's unsuccesful attempt to assassinate Hitler.  (The Count accurately refers to the "church" as a business.  Bravo, Count.  This incredibly rich cult most definitely does NOT deserve a tax break.)

And of course it's only been a month or so since BBC reporter John Sweeney's maniacal rant made YouTube fame and quickly spread throughout the Internet and mainstream media.  (Sweeney's explanation for his outburst is compelling.  I would summarize it thusly: these dangerous and sinister fucking brainwashers could drive anyone out of his mind.)

And, my favorite: The Edinborough Festival Fringe is staging the satirical send-up, Xenu is Loose!  And Scientology is not happy. 

All of this has had me perusing the web, reading up on this somewhat alien (get it?  I kill myself...) form of religious bullshit.  (And of the many sites I've combed, I'd like to say: Operation Clambake, keep fighting the good fight, paisans!) 

In the end, I'm left with one conclusion.  This is a cult (not a religion, despite massive and well-funded efforts to be recognized as one) for P-U-S-S-I-E-S. 

First, just look at its celebrity spokesperson.  Tom Cruise? Puh-leeze!  Everyone who's ever seen him in real-life knows he's four feet tall, likes nothing better than a cock that's bigger than he is, and is a fucking nut. 

Furthermore, if you read up on their mind-control methods and bullying tactics, you can't help but be struck by what amateurs they are.  Where are the pederasts?  The suicide bombers?  The polygamists?  Sure, they hypnotize people and destroy families, but this is minor league.  Hey--followers of Xenu, lissen' up!  You want respect?  Crash some planes into some skyscrapers!  Rape altar boys!  Cut the clits off of your daughters! 

And, please, get a real spokesperson.  Jesus has the Pope.  Buddha has the Dalai Lama.  Islam has...well, crazy-ass terrorists.  And Xenu?  Xenu has the man best-known for mounting a talk-show couch and a 14-year-old actress (ok, she's 29...still).  Scientology, it's time to grow up.