Strolling through the Met last week, I lingered in the Egyptian wing, gazing at mummies, contemplating canopic jars (that's where they stuffed the liver, lungs, stomach and intestines after embalming), and reading translated snippets from The Book of the Dead of Nany.
Nany (pronounced NAH-nee) died around 3,000 years ago (or, when the world was half as old as it is today, for you fundamentalists) and was buried with a papyrus roll that detailed--in written text and pictures, like the one you see above--the various trials and tribulations that Nany had to navigate her way through in her journey to the afterlife.
It was no easy task back then, winning your way to the afterlife. Amongst the many tests, Nany has to pass through seven gates guarded by seven nefarious attendants. My favorite: He Who Eats Excrement from His Anus; Alert; Curser. Just think about that. Not only do you have to watch this demon-like being eat his own shit, you can't sneak past him and the whole while, he's cussing you out.
Luckily, Nany makes it. The great thing about the Book of the Dead is it's full of useful spells and instructions and incantations. So she makes it past Shit Guy to the final test, which is what the picture you see here is all about. That's Nany to the left of the scale. She's holding her mouth and eyes in her hands. Her heart is being weighed against Maat, the goddess of justice and truth. Osiris, god of the underworld and rebirth, is on the right wearing the tall crown with a knob at the top.
If her heart is too heavy, the baboony thing on top of the scale eats it, and she's toasty. But as I said, turns out her heart was lighter than the feather, and she gets to go on to the Land of the West and live happily ever after.
Shew.
Yes, indeed-y. Religious Bullshit (and those who, well, Eat It From Their Anus), has a long, storied history, indeed. Funny to think about the zillions of people who passionately hold to their own bullshit beliefs today. I don't think they'll achieve eternal life--but with a little luck and good preservation, maybe their mythologies will line museum walls thousands of years from now.
