2010 is barely underway, but it's looking to be another banner year for nut jobs who feel their omnipotent gods aren't quite up to the task of self-defense. Today's "jihadist-of-the-moment" is a 28-year-old Somali douche-bag who shouted "blood" and "revenge" while trying to kill Danish cartoonist Kurt Westergaard (and his 5-year-old granddaughter).
All of this is of course for the "abuse" that Westergaard heaped upon the prophet Mohammed via outlandish cartoons that posited the clearly indefensible idea that some of Islam's adherents have hard-ons for violence. Right-thinking people everywhere will undoubtedly agree with the aptly-named Sheikh Ali Muhamud Rage (day job: crazy fucking Somalian muslim), who believes this mendacious conflating of Islam and violence can only be countered with, well, murder: "It is a general obligation for all Muslims to defend their religion and the prophet. He really did what was to be done by any other Muslim."
Muslims, of course, have not cornered the market on killing in the name of God (however exceptional they may be at it.) Most religions have their foot soldiers who are all-too-willing to slash, maim and kill if that's what it takes to prove that God is all-loving, all-powerful, all-bad-ass. Or whatever.
On the one hand, God is, undeniably, under siege. Men's puckered anuses are at constant risk from other men's penises. Thanks to a health care bill forced through Congress by godless communists (i.e., democrats), God's favorite country is about to start caring for more of its sick and needy (I mean, really: what would Jesus think?). And in large swaths of the Islamic world, if the prophet is not vigorously defended by any and all necessary means, the right of devout muslim men to fuck nine year-olds with impunity is at serious risk.
And yet on the other hand...this is an omnipotent God. Parter of the red sea. He who brings the dead to life, levitates prophets, turns water into wine, and reveals his presence with equal facility in everything from shrouds to clouds to grilled cheese sandwiches.
Given this awesome and incontrovertible power, I'm wondering if we can't just leave God to defend himself? We all know he's perfectly capable of wiping the entire earth clean (the flood), or taking out just one city at a time (New Orleans). Hell, turn your back against orders, and you're at significant risk of being rendered a pillar of Morton's salt.
So can everyone just take a year off? Let God do his own dirty work, and let's all just get along.
